Midnight Stream of Conciousness

It’s the busiest week of the whole summer — thirty-one hours at the agency, five hours of private tutoring, a job change over the weekend, then a cross-country trip to get the girls settled into their first apartment.  So why am I up at 1:00 am? Probably because it’s the busiest week of the whole summer — thirty-one hours at the agency, five hours of private tutoring, a job change over the weekend, then a cross-country trip to get the girls settled into their first apartment.

It’s exciting!  So much is happening!  But, guys, I really need some sleep!

Just one week ago I accepted an adjunct position to teach developmental composition and reading right here on our little campus by the river.  How much quainter could it be than walking down the path to the same classroom building where I studied English thirty years ago to teach down the hallway from one of my most esteemed professors?  It’s the stuff of dreams.

And the girls —  moving into an apartment together in Boston, each with a new adventure and all types of possibility. We’re loading up their belongings and helping them set up their next chapter one week from today!

We’re just off a weekend trip to see one son, his wife, and their precious daughter, and still smiling from a phone conversation with the other son earlier this evening. My husband is knee-deep in welcome week and loving the challenges and opportunities of his position.  We are living in the land of answered prayer.  So, why am I not sleeping?

It’s partly my fault.  I wasn’t going to take a 6pm student today, but I did.  That meant I didn’t get home until 7:30.  Then I ate dinner, talked to the family, watched some Netflix, and settled down to read around 10.  I read just one chapter, really, just one.  I turned out the light, tried to get comfortable, and willed myself to sleep.

Then, the details started marching through my mind — Don’t forget to book a hotel.  When are you going to give that student feedback on his essay?  Will you have time to put the package in the mail on Friday, or will it have to wait until Saturday? Oh, but Saturday is already booked, then again, so is Sunday.  It’s ok, you’ll have time to complete the syllabus before Monday morning.  You’ll have all the details ironed out for the first class.  Seriously, you’ve taught this stuff dozens of times.  You’ve got this.  But, wait, what are you wearing tomorrow? Will you have time to get gas?  Shouldn’t you be sleeping right now? 

After almost an hour of that, I got up, booked the hotel, managed some email, and read a little more.  Guys, I read pamphlets about safety on campus, and Title IX…  Surely that should put me to sleep, right?

I wandered back to bed, tucked myself in, closed my eyes, got in my most comfortable position, and then my eyes popped open insistently.

Seriously?

Well, you could blog, you know.  I mean, it’s been over a week.  Don’t you want to process all the things that are happening right now?  Document them? Give them an outlet?  You know you’ll sleep a lot better after you do. 

I’m trying to sleep here.

You could write about the fact that it’s the busiest week of the summer and here you are up in the middle of the night. 

Sigh. Alright, I’m coming, I’m coming.

It’s not terrible to be up in the middle of the night.  I’ve had a moment to recognize how blessed we are. I’m thinking I’ll wander back to bed now and give it another try.

Psalm 4:8

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.

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