Yowling and oozing

Sometimes I look back at what I’ve written and I think, “geez, did you have to be that honest? Nobody wants to hear all that!”  I mean, I sit down at the keyboard and the truth just comes out of me.  I would really like to sugar-coat it a bit.  Really.  But, I used up all my lies by the time I was 18 and I really don’t have any more to tell.  (That’s a story for another day.)

My personality is such that I like to make people laugh…at least when I am in person.  I am somewhat quick-witted (some would say razor-tongued) and the middle child in me likes to be the center of attention.  I like to lighten the mood, set things off-balance, diffuse tension. I am loud.  And a bit obnoxious.

I really wish I could write a funny blog.

But something happens to me when I write.  Especially when I start in God’s Word before I write.  I am compelled to honesty.  Gut-wrenching honesty.  Perhaps  the Word of God, which is living and active and full of grace and truth, compels me toward self-examination and truth.

I was reading my Bible study this morning.  It’s Beth Moore’s Children of the Day, a study of Thessalonians.  She says, “Our freedom comes with the head-on collision between the truth of Christ and God’s truth about us.  There beauty meets ugly, and authenticity is born, yowling like an injured cat freed from a mousetrap” (41).

Guys, I feel like I’ve been ‘yowling like an injured cat freed from a mousetrap’!  I have been reading God’s grace-filled truth,  comparing it with God’s truth about me and trying to absorb both truths for myself…so that I can heal and be authentic with those around me who matter most.

How do you like authentic?

It’s all I’ve got, folks.  At least in my written form.

My in-person form feels more comfortable laughing, but I am finding that the more I share in writing, the less my quick wit stings, and the more it soothes.  Letting the pains from my life ooze out on the page, makes them less likely to spurt out under the guise of humor.

So, let the yowling and oozing continue.  At least for now.  Perhaps someday my blog will make you laugh.  You never know what is going to happen in the next chapter.

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