I don’t usually know what I am going to write about before I sit down. Today’s no exception. I find the time in my day and then sit down at my desk. I read a devotion and then start moving my fingers over the keys. Today, my devotional book, Beth Moore’s Whispers of Hope, which I am reading through for the second time, directed me to Psalm 62. I read the Psalm and then turned to what Beth had written about it. About half way through her page, she told me to go back to scripture and read aloud verses 1-2 and 5-8. If you are so inclined, you could read them aloud right now:
For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Since, as of yesterday, I am getting back to writing my blog, perhaps this verse is a fitting reminder of where I started eighteen months ago. I had just committed to taking six months to be still and wait. I, a self-proclaimed butt-kicking, name-taking soldier, had agreed to put down my weapons for a season in order to recover from some battle wounds.
In fact, if you recall, my injuries had rendered me useless to the soldiering business. I hadn’t surrendered willingly, but had been pulled from battle per executive order. I would like to say I left kicking and screaming, but in reality, by the time that I was summoned from my position, I was too exhausted to utter much more than a whimper of acknowledgement.
I was plunked down in this little house by the river with a laptop, my Bible, and nothing but time. If you’ve been reading with me for the past eighteen months, you know that my journey to recovery has been slow and circuitous. I have made progress in fits and starts, proving, time and again, that I am no longer fit for battle.
Nor was I ever intended to be. I wasn’t called to fight or conquer or even defend. I was called to wait in silence. I was called to run to my refuge, seek my shelter, and find my salvation in the Rock.
Now, it might seem that seeking shelter means taking myself out of the war entirely. Not true. I can enjoy shelter in the midst of chaos, in the midst of trial, in the midst of downright warfare. I won’t be oblivious to the turmoil that surrounds me, but I will be safe, secure, and held.
For a very long time, I thought it was my job to keep peace, to quiet cries, and to overcome the enemy. And, boy did I try. And fail. In fact, I would say that my efforts to fight battles that were not mine actually caused more harm than good — to myself and others because the battles were not mine; the war is already won.
That’s why I have permission to wait in silence. If I am busy soldiering on, I miss the action. But if I watch and wait, I “see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13). How do I know this? Because I’ve been seeing it.
I wonder if in your stillness you are seeing it to….