Trajectory

Meet Blain: he wants to be a nurse.  He is currently enrolled at a local university.  He is focused, hard-working, and goal-oriented, but he has a problem.  Although he is fascinated with the human body and has no difficulty at all with medical terms or anatomy, he hasn’t been able to get into the nursing program.  Why?  Because he doesn’t know what a predicate nominative is.

In order to get into his school’s nursing program, he has to pass a standardized test called the Hesi A2, and he has passed it — all the sections except grammar.   His school requires that he get 80% or better on the grammar section of this test.

I know what you are thinking.  You are way back in paragraph one thinking to yourself, “what is a predicate nominative?  and what does it have to do with nursing?” Exactly.

Meet Conner:   He would really like to go to MSU’s James Madison School, or maybe Miami University of Ohio, or even Butler University.  He’s a delightful kid.  He plays soccer on a travel team, is respectful toward his parents, and is willing to engage in four hours of tutoring each week — after he’s already put in full days at school.  Why? Because his ACT score isn’t quite high enough to get into the programs he is interested in.

Then there’s Joe.  Joe’s parents are both career police officers. They have positions of authority within local law enforcement agencies.  He wants to follow in their path.  He just returned from a visit to the US Naval Academy — his dream school.  His eyes are gleaming with hope and possibility.  He wants to do just what his parents are doing — contribute to society by serving and protecting.  When I met him the first time in the foyer of the local library, I looked up at his imposing stature to see a smiling face topped off with a military haircut.  He was at once intimidating and engaging.  He was born for this.

But he may not get into the Naval Academy.  For good reason, the Naval Academy is very selective.  It is a four-year education paid by the United States government to prepare the future leaders of our Navy.  Like West Point and the Air Force Academy, it must select only the brightest and the best.  And although Joe has law enforcement in his DNA, he has experienced some learning difficulty.  He has done YEARS of interventions to improve his reading issues, but still, he struggles to get the standardized test scores that he needs.

Is he discouraged? Nope.  He greets me every week at the library, smiling.  He leans with me over an ACT prep book as we practice item after item, discussing rules and strategies.  He knows he has to work to achieve his goal.  He knows he has to have a backup plan, so he is also considering other military schools and ROTC programs.

Three guys I’m working with right now (names changed, of course) — all pursuing their dreams, all trying to overcome an obstacle in the path.

That obstacle? Testing.

I’m not against testing.  We have to have some way to determine which students fit in which programs. Not everyone can be successful at Harvard — probably only those who score in the top 1% of everyone in the nation. Not everyone can or should be a nurse. And, when it comes to national security, I, for one, am glad that the armed forces have high standards for ‘officer material.’  Testing is one way to help individuals, and schools,  determine who has the aptitude or education for any of thousands of programs.  But it’s not the only way.

The three gentlemen I described above are all trying to raise their test scores, yes, but they are stacking the deck in other ways.  Blain works part-time as a pharmacy tech which gives him access to medical terminology and the world of health care.  Conner takes all AP classes at his high school and has worked hard enough to earn himself a 3.5. Joe? He is part of his community’s police explorer’s program. He is taking every opportunity he can to expose himself to the career he hopes is in his future.

Do I believe they will succeed?  In one way or another, yes, if they are willing to accept that the definition of success is not fixed.  Certainly Blain may become a nurse, Conner may get into his top choice university, and Joe may go to the Naval Academy.  However, some or all of those goals may not be achieved. Each of these guys may experience trajectory. And, I’m learning, the vehicle for that trajectory may be a test.

A score that is earned during four hours of testing on a Saturday morning can make the difference between attending the University of Michigan or attending Central Michigan University — both are great schools, both have thousands of success stories to their credit.  That score could also determine the difference between $10,000 or $1,000 in scholarship money — substantial to almost every college-aged kid that I know. The score could force choices that each of my students can’t right now imagine they are going to have to make. That score could cause — trajectory.

Will they be able to navigate that trajectory? My gut says yes.  Why?  Because each of these guys has not settled for the initial test score.  Each saw the score and said to himself, “OK, what now?” He didn’t curl up in a corner and decide that his goals were unattainable.  He made a decision to take action.

That decision tells me that he will take future bumps in the road with finesse.  If he doesn’t get into his desired program, I am confident he will research and find one that better fits his needs.  If he gets into his program but somehow determines that it wasn’t a good match after all, he will regroup and prepare for a transition. If somehow he gets into the program, completes it, and then discovers that his interests lie in a different field altogether?  No problem — he will have navigated difficulty in the past and will be prepared to ride the next, if bigger, wave.

What a joy it is for me to join these gentlemen on their journey, to watch their resilience, and to learn from them how to navigate trajectory.

Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds,

because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

James 1:2-3

Just Fifteen Minutes

It was just fifteen minutes of my afternoon. I sat inches away from a woman I had never met before as she brushed tears away from her eyes. Just fifteen minutes.

In those fifteen minutes I learned that she has a PhD in China, but is studying for a PhD here.  She is forty-five years old.  She moved here, leaving career and family, so that her daughter can go to high school here in the United States and subsequently meet the criteria to attend an American university.  Why is she crying? Because her own mother is fighting cancer back in China and she can not be there to help.  Because it is difficult to do PhD work in your second (or third) language.  Because it is extra difficult when you are 45 and raising your daughter alone in a country that is not your own.  Because that difficulty is compounded when you see your daughter struggling to fit in and find success in her American school — your daughter who is studying in her second language.

She doesn’t know me, but she found me on a website — a website that shows my photo, some of my credentials, and some student testimonials.  She contacted me yesterday and wondered if I would read some of her daughter’s writing — would I help her get published?

I read her request and thought to myself, “Oh, boy, another child prodigy.” I judged her.  She was one more parent who believes her child is amazing. (I am one of those parents, too, by the way.)  I told her I would be happy to meet her, but it is the policy of Wyzant  (the tutoring site I use) that she has to enter payment information before I can meet her.  I stick to this policy because it makes my record keeping simple; I never have to collect my own payment, and no one ever owes me any money.  It is clean.

She countered, “Wyzant won’t accept my Chinese credit card. I would be happy to pay you in cash or check.”

I replied, “I only accept payment through Wyzant, but I am happy to meet you tomorrow to see if we are a good match for each other.”  We set up a time and a place. Period.

Well, Wyzant didn’t like that.  They disabled my account about an hour before I was to meet her.  They sent me a notification saying that “based on some recent email correspondence, it appears that you have violated the terms of use.  We have deactivated your account.”

Gasp!

So I can’t access any of my student contacts?  Yikes!  I called them to inquire and the operator said she would “create a ticket” and that they would contact me within 24-48 hours to let me know if I can be re-activated or not.

Or not!?!?!?!?!?

Guys!  I have a dozen or more students that I see fairly regularly.  Yes, this has been a slow week, but I have six appointments scheduled for next week and no way of contacting these people if my account is not reactivated.

Now, I am guessing that they are just going to give me a stern warning with finger shaking, “Do not under any circumstances meet with clients who do not have payment information on file.”  Right, right, I know.  I have told almost half of my clients that I will not allow them to pay me cash because I have signed an agreement.  I really want everything kept within the boundaries of the website — it’s clean and safe and organized.

I had no intention of circumventing that policy.  I had no intention of charging this woman for a  fifteen minute meeting. In fact, when I met with her today, I helped her understand that she could open a PayPal account with her debit card and link it to Wyzant.  Because of the language barrier, that might have been difficult to convey through email correspondence.  We needed the face-to-face.

But not just to set up the payment information. We needed the face-to-face so that I could get off my high horse, stop judging her based on a couple of sentences in an email, and have some compassion on a mom who is feeling overwhelmed and all alone.

I’d do it again.  Ok, I might be a little more crafty in how I communicate time and place now that I know that Big Brother is reading my emails (or that he at least has some kind of algorithm to identify rebellious rule-breaking tutors).  Sometimes we have to be a little flexible. I don’t typically break the rules, but I do find ways to bend them a bit when needed.  I didn’t know this mom’s situation last night.  I wasn’t really trying to bend any rules.

But today, for fifteen minutes, two women connected without the blessing of Wyzant, and I’m not sorry for it.

I John 4:11

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Jumping in

I Samuel 15:25

Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me,

so that [we] may worship [and serve] the Lord.

Sometimes I get excited.  It’s kind of like when I was a little girl and our family drove to a nearby lake to swim for the day.  As soon as the car was put into P for Park, I leapt from the car and ran for the water.  I was too excited to think about applying sunscreen, grabbing my towel, or helping to carry the picnic basket or blankets to the sandy beach.  I was focused on getting in that water. Period.

This past week a friend mentioned a project she was getting involved in with another mutual friend — making hygiene kits for school-aged girls in Kenya.  She explained that it is not unusual for young girls to miss up to two months of school because they have to stay home when they menstruate due to lack of feminine supplies.  These girls use whatever is available, which may even be leaves, to protect their clothing. Such arrangements hardly make school attendance feasible. So, an organization has created a way to provide enough supplies in a small drawstring bag to be used, washed, and re-used for up to three years!  My friend explained that our mutual friend was leading the charge to complete as many kits as possible by March.

Later that day she sent me a link to a website and I was off and running!  Before I knew it, I had friends in three states enlisted for the cause, a Google spreadsheet to chart our progress, and a donation through Paypal to get us started!  Yesterday I took that money, went to a thrift shop and bought enough fabric for several draw string bags and ordered enough flannel to make a ton of pads for the waterproof liners that my friend is getting started on.  I heard about this project on Wednesday and by Friday night I had cut out enough fabric for 10 bags!  I was in the water!

My friend emailed me this afternoon and told me that her sister, in yet another state, would like to be involved, too!  And then it hit me.  This is my friend’s project, and I had bulldozed my way into leadership!  I had forgotten my sunscreen and towel! Now, my friend is very gracious — she hasn’t mentioned that she feels bulldozed, but my little internal red flag has popped up and is waving like crazy.

When I was a little girl, my mom would make sure I had a towel, lunch, drinks, and maybe even sunscreen (it was the 1970s, come on!) so I didn’t usually pay too high a price for my lake-side excitement.  Over the years, though, I have learned that when I don’t pause before I run in, I sometimes trample people in my path.  Now, I have made some pretty cool things happen in my life, but not always without hurting the feelings of the people around me.

So, let me go on record to say, I’m sorry if I’ve ever bulldozed you.  I love being excited, and I love when you are excited with me, and I really do want you to join me in making cool things happen.  So, I’m sorry that instead of joining you in your project I grabbed it and made it my project.  At least in this case, can it be our project?  I’ll try to calm down a little bit so that I can enjoy the journey and the people God has placed on it with me.  After all, it’s really His project, isn’t it.  Yes, Kristin, it’s my project. Not yours.  Oh, right.  It’s just a small part of my current assignment.

But guys, I am so excited about this project!  Maybe you want to get excited, too!  Here’s the link: http://www.daysforgirls.org/

Luke 3:11

Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none,

and anyone who has food should do the same.

The teacher gets schooled

Once upon a time there was a girl.  She really wanted to be a teacher.  She often lined up all her friends in rows and stood in front to ‘teach’ them in the yard, or the basement, or the garage.  In fact, when she was in the second grade, her teacher, Mrs. Anderson, assigned her the task of working with a classmate who was struggling to learn how to read.  The little girl loved showing him how to sound out the words.

Learning came easily to her, but she was drawn to those for whom it didn’t.  It was a challenge to figure out how to explain things in ways that they could understand.

Her experiences as she grew included babysitting, teaching Sunday school, working at a day care center or two, more babysitting, student teaching, and finally a college degree and teaching certificate.  As a young woman, she took her first teaching position as a teacher of learning disabled students in a little classroom in an old building in Detroit.

She moved on to resource rooms at two high schools and then a residential school for emotionally impaired teenagers.  In each of these places, she had the title ‘teacher’, but she was actually a student.  She was learning so much about herself, about her students, and about learning.  Yes, she had taken methods classes in college.  She had studied Shakespeare and Faulkner, Piaget, and Maslow.  But the real learning began amidst countless adolescents who would become her teachers.

And it didn’t stop there.  Her intensive training started when she married a man with a four-year-old son.  It continued when she gave birth to not one, not two, but three babies in three years.  She began an adventure in ‘homeschooling’ which again taught her more than it did any of her students.

The master’s program she enrolled in introduced her to topics like hegemony, code-switching, and mushfaking, sure. But her time in the trenches, two community colleges and two high schools, ingrained in her the knowledge that relationships are more important than curriculum, that process is more important than product, and that being is more important than doing.

And,  now?  Now is the advanced individualized course in self-awareness and reliance on God.  Some people take introductory courses in this topic, but this girl has been pretty darn busy in her other educational pursuits.  Alas, it is never too late for a girl to learn the basics.

She is learning them from The Teacher through His Word, yes, but also through experience, relationships, and the learning method that works best for her — writing. It’s a multi-modal approach, designed specifically for this learner.  It takes into account the other lessons she has had and allows for multiple assessments with an eye toward mastery.  Failure is not an option.  The Teacher has ensured it.

Matthew 11:28-30

Come to me, all who labour and are heavy-laden,

and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.