So, as usual, my writing has sharpened my thinking. I always tell my students this. You don’t always know what you think until you start writing — so just write something. You, my dear reader, may think that I write this blog to share my life with you, and indeed that is a nice bonus. But actually, I write this blog to figure out what I am thinking. Knowing I have you as an audience is an additional check on my honesty.
Yesterday I shared that I will be speaking next weekend on the topic — ‘confidence in Christ’, specifically, how have I kept my confidence in Christ through the seasons of ministry. Writing what I did yesterday got me to the place of acknowledging that it’s ok if I haven’t consistently had confidence in Christ, or more specifically, haven’t behaved as though I had confidence in Christ. After all, it’s probably safe to say that all people falter in their faith. In fact, women who come to a Saturday conference on having confidence in Christ have most assuredly had their moments of doubt.
And, from the comments I received from you, I think that at least some of these women will find it refreshing to hear that others have had a similar struggle. One of you said that I should be ‘brutally honest’. Another said ‘bring the noise’! Thanks guys, because you know me well enough to know that that is likely going to happen, whether I plan for it or not. I am who I am.
One friend reminded me of a conversation that a few of us had last winter. She simply said ‘Repent. Refresh. Reset.’ And I heard the song of my heart. I love that those words don’t focus on the sin, as I am wont to do. Rather, these three words focus on the remedy. They remind me that in His story, God knew in advance that I would falter. He knew that I could not remain consistently confident in Christ. So, he provided a plan. He said, Come to me all of you who are tired of soldiering, tired of kicking butts and taking names. He said, I will provide rest for your souls. He said, I don’t desire for you to die fighting; I desire for you turn to me, to try my pattern of living, and to realize that my way is much easier (Rathje Revised Version, all).
So perhaps that is what will fill fifty-five minutes, stories of repentance, refreshing, and resetting.
That’s what this blog is, really. It’s the tale of me repenting of my self-sufficiency, of realizing in my weakness that He provides me with strength, of recognizing that a new way is needed, and beneficial, and blessed.
So, I share a few of my stories, and allow the ladies to share a few of theirs? We devise a way to keep sharing the stories of God’s faithfulness in our faithlessness? We commit to being brutally honest with one another?
Can you imagine the strength and encouragement that could come from such sharing? So many of you shared with me yesterday that you will be praying for me as I prepare for this Saturday. Thank you! Would you also pray for the ladies who will join me? And pray for our time together? Please pray that our confidence in Christ would be renewed.
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,