When our children were little, three aged five and under, I built a pretty concrete schedule for how our days would go. I literally wrote it down. The teachers out there might understand this, or those who desperately crave control in their lives. It literally looked something like this.
- 6:30am Wake up and breakfast
- 7:00 Clean up and get dressed
- 7:30 Play time
- 8:00 Morning Lesson — Letter of the day, songs, play-doh
- 9:00 Outside play
- 10:00 Quiet time
It really was that planned out. My mother, who raised four children of her own without killing anyone, once came to stay with the kids while my husband and I went out of town for the weekend. I actually typed up the daily schedule including menu recommendations and clothing options and printed it out for her. I believe it was three pages long.
Yeah, you can judge me.
Looking back, I believe that I was utterly overwhelmed by the fact that I had three children so close together. One way to not feel so overwhelmed was to order my day down to the minute. We ate at the same time every day, slept at the same time every day, went to the library the same day every week, and never missed an activity at church. In fact, even after the kids were all in school, I would create themes for the summer and plan activities to support the theme. I really wanted order, control, and predictability.
I know what you are thinking. All of my planning didn’t prevent the unpredictable. You are right. I couldn’t plan for illnesses, for accidents that took us to the emergency room, or for unexpected visitors at the front door. In fact, I didn’t do well when these interruptions occurred. I often got crabby and grumbled around the house because reality didn’t match my expectations.
But I learned my lesson, right?
I wish I could say that I had. I am still learning how to be fluid, to roll with the punches. This past week was a refresher course. I would go to bed thinking I knew what the next day held, only to realize, upon waking, that something totally different was in store. Probably the capstone of the week was yesterday — my husband and I had decided we would have a slow Saturday morning, followed by some errand running, a walk with the dog, and then a date night at home. Doesn’t that sound lovely? Here’s what really happened. We woke to find that about a hundred ants had moved into our kitchen. We handled that situation, one of us more graciously than the other. Then, once I had a good snit worked up, I insisted on cleaning not just the floor where the ants had been, but the entire kitchen. While I was at it, I might as well make a huge breakfast, which was delicious, but created more clean up. We got through about half the errands then stopped off at home for a moment where we were greeted by out of town guests that we had forgotten “were passing through”. After a lovely visit with them, we decided we could still fit in a short walk, scrounge some food together, and watch some NCAA basketball — our date night.
My Friday night planning didn’t circumvent the unexpected of Saturday. I spent about an hour or two of my morning fussing and fuming, but thankfully, was able to start “rolling” with the alternate plan by around noon. It turns out that sipping tea while reading children’s books in a local bookstore is pretty relaxing. Chatting with family that we hadn’t seen in a while was a lovely break in our day. Watching the Spartans lose (poor Izzo!) was not necessarily enjoyable, but it was time spent with the guy I would choose over everyone else.
So, I re-learned the lesson yesterday, right?
Nope. I needed a refresher course today. Almost all of the things we had planned for today have changed. Almost every single one. Did I roll with it? Not at first. I fussed and fumed a bit. Verbalized my frustration. Then, settled in to what was going to be. Turns out I got lots of quiet time, a nice little rest, a second cup of tea, and a delicious meal is roasting in the oven. Not exactly what I had planned. It’s actually an improvement. Maybe this time the lesson will stick.
But plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.