You won’t believe what happened yesterday afternoon. I had already ordered my Bible study on prayer from Amazon, I had already blogged, I had done my editing work and a few other tasks around the house, so I decided to drop by the library and pick up the books that were being held for me.
Remember how I said I had been looking for a Bible study and I had even checked the library for one, to no avail? Was I surprised when I got to the library, picked up my ‘held’ books and found among them a Bible study called “10 Weeks of Devotional Prayer”. He is relentless!
God knew that I would find the online study with email reminders yesterday, but a week or so ago, He had me request another study (I think I actually requested two or three and this is the one that arrived) because I am just – that – thick and He wanted to be sure I got the point! He wants to hear from me every day!!!
Let me clarify here that I was not actually looking for a Bible study on prayer — that would require yet another change in my life, another commitment, another step in acknowledging that He is God and I am not; a daily confession that He is in control and I am not.
Have I mentioned before that I am stubborn? It is no small miracle that at this moment I am open to receiving this message from God. It is no small miracle that I am willing to act on it. But it is a HUGE miracle that I am actually excited about this next part of the journey.
Seriously, I am a changed woman. It’s almost laughable! It’s 8:43am. By this time last year I had been at work for almost two hours, had prepared my classroom for the day, reprimanded any number of students for uniform violations, missing homework, or eating in the hallway, coached a couple of students on writing projects, met with another administrator, returned a dozen emails, and possibly even had a meeting with a parent. And I had eight more hours to go! This morning, I rolled out of bed around 8:00am, made my tea, had a cup of homemade granola (delicious, by the way), fed the dog, had a devotion (which was about how we get far away from God — I can’t make this stuff up), and am now sitting in my mis-matched pajamas with disheveled hair trying to decide if I should shower or not before my 9:30 walking date. On today’s schedule? A walk, a haircut, and a half-dozen young people for dinner. That’s all.
It’s because of this shift, this opportunity to be still, this grace period, that I am able to see that God is God and I am not — to see that He has been holding me the whole time — to know that I am rescued by grace. It’s because I am not soldiering on that I can see that the fight was never mine.
Today’s scripture verse? I had a little trouble finding Micah, but it was worth the search.
Rejoice not over me, O my enemy, when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness, the LORD will be a light to me…
He will bring me out to the light…”
I have fallen many times. God has been relentless in His pursuit of me. He has rescued me by grace over and over again. He has brought me out of my self-constructed darkness and placed me in His light.