Walking

I love running.  I didn’t always.  It grows on you.

In my middle school and high school years the only thing I loved about running was when it was over.

But in college, when I was battling an eating disorder, I began to tap into the benefits of running — stress reduction, calorie burning, cardio-vascular health.   I found another benefit when I began to date my future husband.  We ran together.  On our after-school runs (we were both teachers), we would talk and laugh while letting go of the stress from the day, pounding out the miles.

Although I took a break from running while we were raising our children, I started up again when we moved to the seminary.  Again, I found it useful for exercise, stress-busting, and ultimately, bonding with my daughter and many students.  In fact, I was able to run two half-marathons and many 5k races before I had to sideline myself due to fatigue and pain.

Over the years I have connected with Scripture that uses running analogies, ‘they will run and not grow weary’ (Isaiah 40:31), ‘run that you may obtain the prize’ (I Cor. 9:24), ‘let us run with endurance the race marked out for us’ (Hebrews 12:1).  These were images I could relate to.  Running and not getting tired, running and winning a prize, running a race that had been chosen for me.

But to be honest, as you know I have to be, running was part of that soldier mentality that believed that I could do all things through me because of my strength. Yeah, that’s not really scripture.  I am aware.

Probably the knowledge that running would no longer be part of my daily routine was one of the first blows toward destroying that self-reliant attitude that could keep God on the sidelines.  That blow hit hard.  Running had become part of my identity.  I was the ‘teacher who ran’, the ‘mom who ran’, the girl whose heart rate and blood pressure were amazingly low, ‘because she ran’.

Transitioning to walking was a blow.  But ultimately it was the beginning of a slow-down that has changed my entire pace of life, of thinking, of being.

I used to rush to work, rush home, hurry to change so I could run, hurry home so I could make dinner, quickly wash the dishes, take a few minutes to straighten the house, make sure the kids had everything they needed, ‘sleep fast’, as my dad would say, and get up to do it all over again.  I was rushing so much that I didn’t really take time to feel, or process how anyone else was feeling.

I don’t rush very much any more.  I roll out of bed, stumble through my routine, work up to doing Pilates, saunter out for a walk, stop to talk to people in my path, write about my experiences, think, read, feel, rest, sleep. Rinse, repeat. Nothing happens very quickly, but plenty happens.

I have been thankful for this transition, while at the same time being a little sad about it. I mean, I was rocking the running routine.  Even if I was leaving the people that I care about in the dust.

At the moment, I’ve got nothing but time.  So, I am walking.  And this morning, in my Bible study, I was challenged by Paul, Silas, and Timothy to “walk in a manner worthy of God” I Thes. 2: 12. I was reminded that God Himself walked in the Garden of Eden, that Enoch walked with God, and Noah walked with God.  Maybe walking isn’t so bad.  I mean, I have noticed already, that I am not alone.

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children, and

walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us…

Ephesians 5:1-2

Giving Thanks

I Chronicles 16:34

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.

I interrupt these solemn posts to bring to you a thankfulness break.  (I can only take so much self-revelation!) 

Here are some things I am thankful for this morning:

  • I had an excellent sleep last night.  Knocked out!
  • We had a young couple for dinner last night.  They were delightful — full of energy and a desire to serve the Lord.  (And the dinner was pretty amazing if I do say so myself — roasted pork, curried lentils, spinach and baby kale salad and strawberry shortcake!)
  • I thank God for excellent food!
  • And Tazo Awake tea!!
  • And the deer who graze outside my window almost every morning and evening!
  • I thank God for my new women’s Bible study that meets in one hour!
  • and for putting me in a women’s Bible study!
  • I thank God that I was able to get a membership at a gym with two salt water pools!
  • and that one of the pools is 93 degrees Fahrenheit!
  • and that in a warm salt-water pool I feel no pain!
  • and that the gym is giving me a free fitness assessment with a trainer this afternoon!
  • I thank God for this gym membership!
  • I thank God that it’s fall!
  • and that I get to wear jeans and sweaters in fall!
  • I love jeans and sweaters!
  • I love fall!
  • I thank God for this blog: it is a vehicle for me to explore my thoughts, feelings, faith, and life.  It brings structure to my day.  It connects me to others.  It is a blessing.
  • I thank God for you for engaging with me through my blog — for reading it, for liking it, for posting comments, for sending me affirming messages, for letting me know that it is a blessing to you, too.
  • I thank God for holding us in the palm of His hand — for watching us as we struggle through life, make mistakes,  connect with each other, laugh, cry, and even shake our fists at Him.
  • I thank God that He continues to draw us closer to Him, raising His palm up to His eyes so that we can see into them, and wonder at the vast mercy and grace He has for us.
  • I thank God that His love for us endures forever.

Psalm 118: 21

I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation.

The River

Do you see that view?  I can see that every day on my walk with Chester.  It is just down the street at Gallup Park.  Although I am in a city, I can take a short walk and totally escape from people, pressures, reality.  This is where I get to live.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I miss St. Louis — my friends, my house, the smell of the brewery, Forest Park, LaFayette Square.  It will always be very dear to me.

But, you know, I think I am going to like Ann Arbor.  In the past week, as we have settled, I have begun to develop some routines — Pilates, morning tea, blogging, five minutes of stillness, and a daily walk by the Huron River.  This walk is a pause from reality.  Inside Gallup Park, I don’t notice the sounds of the city.  I am engulfed in the smell of water, flowers, freshness — pure Michigan.  I see ducks, geese, and such a wide variety of people doing exactly what I am doing — breathing.

I lose track of time.  I forget agendas.  I relax.  Guys, it’s like being still!

I can hear some grumblers saying, “I bet you won’t be walking there in January!”  Good point. I haven’t quite forgotten what Michigan winters are like.  They are cold, to be sure.  But I also remember that they are stunningly beautiful.  So, I wonder if I will still venture out, like a real Michigander —  clad in boots, parka, hat, and gloves — to see what this view looks like fifty degrees cooler.  I hope so!

In the mean time, I am going to continue my routine — Pilates, tea, blogging, five minutes of stillness, and my daily walk by the river.  Because I have noticed that there, He “extends peace to [me] like a river” Isaiah 66:12.