Tag: employment

And so it begins…

~ Kristin ~ Leave a comment

Well, kids, when it rains it pours.

This Sunday afternoon I am meeting with a graduate student who is looking for someone to help him organize his Master’s thesis — 120 single-spaced pages on academic dishonesty.

On Monday I have an interview to be a part-time English paraprofessional at a charter school for non-traditional students.

Tuesday is my big gig as an election agent.

Whew!  I think my days of unemployment may be coming to an end!

Now, I am not saying I am going to be offered either of the positions I am being interviewed for.  Nor am I suggesting that I will certainly take either/both positions if they are offered.  However, it is nice to know that this chronic job hunter can still get an interview!

Don’t worry, I am aware that Sunday is November 2.  I have not forgotten that I have been committed from the beginning to be still until January 1, or, technically, January 5.  I don’t consider one night as an election agent to be ’employment’.  Do you? How about several hours reading a thesis?  Is that really work?  I mean, yes, I would get paid.  Yes, I would be using my expertise.  But, I am pretty sure I could do it in my pajamas, on my couch, with or without an ice pack applied to whatever ache I may have at the moment.

Now being an English parapro?  That would count as an official job — regular hours, real humans counting on me, actual skills being utilized.  I did mention on my application that I am available for work starting January 5.  I still got a call.  I still have an interview.  So, who knows?

I consider the position I am in to be one of luxury.  I am not desperate for a job.  We can survive if I don’t work at all.  We will surely have to cut corners and go without a few ‘wants’, but certainly all of our ‘needs’ will be met.  So, I can be relaxed in these interviews, be myself, hear what they have to say, and honestly communicate whether I feel I am capable of handling the task at hand.  Yes, pure luxury.

I have been on the other side.  I have been desperate for work before.  I have had to step into situations where I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into.  I have had to have on-the-job training.  And truly, this will likely happen again, to some extent, no matter what position I eventually land in.  But I have crossed enough bridges, and weathered enough storms to know that, no matter what, I’ll be fine.

Years ago at my confirmation, my pastor placed his hands on me and proclaimed my confirmation verse, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” Joshua 1:9.  And, you know, it has proven true.  He was with me when I worked in a group home for emotionally impaired girls.  He went with me to my first classroom of learning disabled students.  He has led me through all these years of parenting.  He has gone before me and beside me through challenges, victories, sadnesses, and joys. Even when I thought I was fighting all my battles on my own.  He was there.

So, bring on the interviews.  We’ll be there together.  Therefore,  I will be strong and courageous.

Evaluating Exchanges

~ Kristin ~ Leave a comment

It came this morning — my first rejection notice.  “Thank you for taking the time to apply.  We are contacting you to let you know that the position has been filled.”  I should have kept every letter or email like this I have received over the years.  You can’t be addicted to applying for jobs without experiencing the rejection letter.  And, just like with parking tickets and library fines, I take rejection letters in stride.

I actually was not surprised by this one at all.  The position needed to be filled as soon as possible, and I recorded that I would be available starting January 5.  This letter didn’t sting.  Actually, it spurred me on to look for more openings and to put in more applications.  You know, improve my chances.  So, I checked all my usual spots for jobs, to no avail, and then said to myself, “OK, on to blogging.”

The fact is, as much as I am looking forward to finding a position, I know I will make an exchange when I am actually hired.  I will exchange availability for schedule.  I will exchange boredom for activity.  I will exchange rest for work.  I will exchange energy for pay.  It’s math, guys.  24 hours – 0 working hours = 24 Kristin hours.  Right now I spend each of those hours virtually as I please.  I sleep for 8-10 of them.  Yeah, I know — luxury.  I cook for 1.  I read for 1-2.  I exercise for 1-2.  I socialize for 1-2.  I do Bible study and blog for 1-2.  I rest for 1-2.  I clean or run errands for 1-2.  And pretty soon, my twenty-four hours is used up!

Now, one thing I know about math (besides the fact that I am lousy at teaching it) is that it is consistent.  It always works.  So, if I work for 4 hours a day and sleep for 10 hours a day, that leaves for 10 hours for everything else — exercise, cooking, cleaning, shopping, socializing, spending time with family (including my husband, of course), and resting.  That might work.  If I spend 8 hours a day working and 10 hours a day sleeping, I have six hours left for everything else.

Before I slowed down due to my physical limitations, I was spending about eleven hours a day with work-related activities — travel to and from work, actual time at school, grading and prepping, and extracurricular activities.  I started to realize that something needed to change when I would drive dazedly (I think that’s a word!) home from work, collapse onto my couch, and then crawl off to bed before I started the whole cycle again.  After all, 24 minus 11 hours at work minus 10 hours of sleep = enough time to shower, eat, switch one load of laundry, and respond gruntingly to the people I love the most.

I can’t go back to that. I would exchange too much.  I am not willing to trade time on the phone with a daughter or son for time in the car.  I am not willing to trade dinners with my husband for supervising a hallway.  I am not willing to trade time blogging for time grading papers.

But I think I am willing to trade a couple hours of Netflix for a couple hours in a library, or teaching a community college course, or editing a dissertation. I am willing to trade time spent hunting for jobs for doing an actual job. I am willing to let my husband cook dinner occasionally so that I can use my God-given gifts to connect with others.

I am close to the time when I will be ready to make an exchange. But I won’t trade time with my son who is coming home on leave next month. I won’t trade the Christmas holidays with my daughters who will both be here.  I won’t trade meeting my new granddaughter.  I won’t trade walks with my husband.  I won’t trade time re-connecting with Jesus.

This gift of time, of being still has allowed me to appreciate the value of time with those I love the most.  It’s worth more to me than any job, any title, any paycheck.

I won’t trade it for anything.

Matthew 6:21

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Monday morning struggling…

~ Kristin ~ 2 Comments

Uh-oh. It’s happening again.  This is my third start on today’s blog.  I have gotten to two or three paragraphs and deleted twice already.

I was going to write about our trip to Washington, DC this past weekend and how blessed and beautiful that whole trip was.  Then I started hearing myself speak and I was like, “blah, blah, blah, who cares about your trip?”

Then, I started doing statistical analysis on this blog — what topics are most interesting to people who are not me.  Yeah, I tried math. Bad idea.

So why don’t I stick to what I do well and tell you what’s on my mind this morning. I sometimes feel redundant like I write about the same things all the time. But, hey, it’s my blog — it’s what’s on my mind — I can’t help it.  Whenever I try to force something and make it about something else, I end up deleting a whole bunch of paragraphs.  In fact, I am not even sure this won’t get deleted.

I am not sure it will have a point at all.  And maybe it doesn’t have to.

Here are the facts.  We had a beautiful weekend.  I am exhausted.  I am in my pajamas and need to be out of them within the hour.  My hips and feet feel like they are coated in IcyHot (no, I am not a paid sponsor, in fact I doubt I will ever have need to buy this stuff because my body seems to simulate its effects on its own).

But in the midst of this less than stellar mind-frame, I read my Bible study this morning which was about how the Word of God is effective even when we don’t think it is effective. I know, it sounds like a rather boring topic, doesn’t it?  But a little nugget grabbed hold of me.

You know, I’m sure by now, how pre-occupied I am with figuring out what it is I am supposed to do next…so after I read “If we’ll ask God to fill us with the Holy Spirit as we read and study, He will alert us when He’s speaking to our situation through a precept that doesn’t blatantly fit” (Beth Moore, Children of the Day, 155), I saw “we’ll often feel emotionally and spiritually satisfied after a work handpicked and infused by the Holy Spirit…If you’re on the right track of your spiritual gifting you’ll start getting snippets of feedback that affirm your contribution…(157),
and I thought, holy cow!  I love blogging, I am affirmed through blogging, but, “um, God, sorry to bother You, but I am a little worried over here about finances and paying for stuff, you know, education, and trips, and stuff.”

But in the same lesson I also saw, from The Message version of Psalm 119,

Give my request your personal attention, rescue me on the terms of your promise…put your hand out and steady me since I’ve chosen to live by your counsel…[you know, I am trying to be still and know that You are God over here]…

And I thought to myself, this is where the rubber meets the road, isn’t it?  Do I trust Him enough to do what He says even when things get a little uncomfortable?  a little scary?  When I can’t see how things will work out?

In this moment, my answer is ‘yes’.

Do I believe that I am only supposed to blog?  Nope.  I think you are going to get bored reading stuff about me being still.  I think I need a little material to write about. So, perhaps I’ll get a job at the library, or teach composition, or work at the airport. And today I answered an ad from a grad student who needs help organizing a thesis. I could do that.

I don’t think I know what’s next yet.  So, I think I will continue to acknowledge that He is God and I am not, and I am, after all, sitting in the palm of His hand.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Confessions, #1

~ Kristin ~ Leave a comment

Ok, I gotta come clean.  I have applied for two jobs.

I know, I know, it’s not January!  I know, I know, this is the grace period.  Calm down, I listed my available start date as January 5, 2015.  Are you happy now?

Being still is hard!

Most days I am just fine going through the routine and then resting, but occasionally, I find a day where I am on the couch watching way too much TV and then up peering out the window waiting for my husband to get home from work.  As I am rehearsing my day to him over dinner, including how many times I took the dog outside, he looks me in the eyes and says, “Are you doing ok?”

Well, yeah.  I am doing ok.  Do you think it’s weird that I just reported our dog’s elimination pattern to you? 

We’ve already been over this.  I have had a job, outside of when our children were babies, since the time I was 15!  I am so accustomed to working that I practically have to set an agenda for myself every day!  Now, you already know that that agenda includes time on the couch, so I am actually resting, ok?

Sometimes, like Monday, I think I am running out of things to do, so I have to find a job.  And, come on, they are both part-time library jobs where I would actually be at the circulation desk fewer than 20 hours a week.  It’s not like I would be challenging young minds and grading their papers.  I’d be checking out books for people and helping them find their books in the stacks.  “Why, sonny, I remember when the card catalog was actually still on cards…” I would be in contact with people, and poor Chester, could get a break from me!

I had the fleeting thought yesterday as I was filling out one of the applications that, well, I could actually start sooner than January 5, couldn’t I?  I mean, Christmas money would be nice…

Then I remembered our trip to DC later this week, my election day commitment, our son’s visit during the second half of November, our daughters coming home for the holidays, and, oh yeah, the fact that my symptoms are persistent and I still need to lie down most days in the middle of the day.

Fine.

I guess I could enter our address book into some label-making software in time for Christmas.  I could create online files for all my recipes.  I could visit the library and read some more books.

But not today.  This morning is Bible study.  This afternoon I will be at the gym.  Tonight I will be too tired to do anything but watch the Cardinals.  January will be soon enough.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

This is an appointed time for everything.

And there is a time for every event under heaven.

I know the plans I have for you

~ Kristin ~ Leave a comment

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,

“plans to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

I’ve been sitting at my computer now for about an hour.  I keep getting distracted from my blog.  I made a hotel reservation for an upcoming trip.  I sent a few emails.  I printed a few documents. And I even started a job application.

Don’t worry, I quickly abandoned it when I realized how long it was!  I don’t think I’m ready yet!  That’s ok, it’s only October 13.  I have time, and God has a plan.  Right?  I am counting on it!

That doesn’t mean I am going to stay in my pajamas until January 1 expecting a phone call that will offer me a ridiculous amount of money to do exactly what I love.  Of course not!  Although my jammies are rather comfy, if I do say so myself.  I will apply for some jobs.  I may even complete an application today, but I’ve gotta work up to it.

God’s plan for me right now is to be doing exactly what I am doing.  I am resting.  I am processing.  I am feeling.  I am evaluating.  I am healing.  And it all takes time.

It’s pretty amazing to me that the whole time I was running around in St. Louis, working full-time plus, parenting, maintaining a large home, and barely keeping my head above the water line, God was planning for me to take this break.  He knew it was coming. I had no idea.  I just kept pushing.  Wash another load of laundry, grade another stack of papers, buy another cart of groceries, fill another prescription, cook another meal, make another appointment.  It was non-stop.  Until God said, “Stop.”

I never expected a break.  I longed for a shift, a different position, a lighter load, an emptier nest, but never in a million years, did I imagine six months of not working, just resting, just recovering, just contemplating.

But He knew.  He knew I needed time to do nothing.  Hours to read, to play Words with Friends, to sleep, to watch Law and Order (there, I finally outed myself), to try new recipes, to drink coffee and tea, to connect with old friends, to make new friends. I had no idea I needed this.  But He did.

It’s a bit overwhelming, to be honest.  The one who created the universe– the trees, the river, the deer, coffee, and every single person — noticed me running frantically about like the squirrels in the trees outside my window.  He saw me fussing and fretting and trying to order my world.  And, instead of just being entertained my my futile attempts, he stepped into my life and provided what I needed.

So, why would I worry that he doesn’t have the next phase planned, too? I have no idea.  For forty-eight years he has provided just what I needed at exactly the right time — friends, mentors, experiences, finances, food, shelter, clothing, spouse, children, employment, and even rest.  Why would He stop now?

Luke 12:6-7

Are not five sparrows sold for two cents?  Yet not one of them is forgotten before God.

…Do not fear, you are more valuable than many sparrows.

God speaks

~ Kristin ~ 2 Comments

I’m not going to tell you that I have heard the voice of God.  I haven’t.  However, I believe He has arranged information in my life in such a way that I will hear His message loud and clear.

I started this next chapter back in July with the subtitle ‘what to do, what to do’.  I really did have the intention from the very beginning that I would like to eventually find a position here in Ann Arbor that would use my gifts to connect with others. I wasn’t sure what that would look like, and I was hoping that God would make it clear during this time of being still.  I explored some of my options in a post called ‘Sneak Peak at the Possibilities’ several weeks ago.

Then, through yesterday’s post, ‘One Remedy’, God reminded me that I am a bit insulated here in my little house by the river, which is nice for the grace period, but probably not good for the long haul.  To add to that, in this morning’s Bible study, on I Thessalonians 5:4-8, He reminded me that I am ‘a child of light’ who has been equipped to get off my tuchus and make a difference. Ok, Ok, I know I am not going to stay here in the grace period forever.  I get it.  I never intended to.

But in this grace period I am learning so much!!!  So, let me re-visit my formerly stated possibilities:

  • apply to the PhD program in English and Education at University of Michigan — just yesterday (I tell you, I am not hearing an audible voice, but the message is clear) my husband sent me a text telling me that there would be an on-campus discussion about code-switching.  This may not mean anything to you, but one of the reasons I was pursuing this degree was to examine the ways that home language impacts academic success.  One way that students find academic success is through code-switching.  For years I have been discussing code-switching with students and showing them how to do it.  I don’t know why, but this text from my husband said to me, “Hey, Kristin, this is God. I have the code-switching thing covered.  I have people handling that.  I am releasing you to look at your other options.”  I am serious when I say I smiled and said, “Ok, decision made.”  So, this is no longer one of my options.

Now, before I go on to examine the other options, I want to share a few things I have learned about myself in the past few months.

  • Blogging feeds me.  Whatever I decide to do in my next chapter, I want to be able to blog, if not every day, then several days a week.  This vehicle has allowed me to reflect on life and learn in ways that I have not been able to in my bustling non-stop life.
  • Rest is an essential part of my day.  Everyday I take 1-2 hours to sit and be non-productive.  I watch TV, read, play Words with Friends, work on a puzzle, or do nothing.  Whatever position I take has to allow me to do this most days.
  • Exercise is critical for my health.  I have to spend about an hour each day working on strength, flexibility, cardiovascular health, and balance in order to feel my best.
  • Social time is non-negotiable.  I have to have time when I can chat with friends without feeling rushed.  I need time to have people over for dinner and to meet friends for coffee. This part of my life was all but overlooked for the last ten years.
  • I sleep about 8-9 hours every day.  I didn’t always need that.  I do now.  Sometimes I need more.

Ok, so, you can see that my options are somewhat limited.  I believe that whatever I end up doing will be part-time, 2-3 days out of the house each week.  I would like this position to be one where I interact with people from a variety of backgrounds.  Ideally, I would be able to use my skills in writing, teaching, and mentoring.  Ok, so let’s go back to the list of possibilities.

  • apply for an adjunct teaching position at Washtenaw Community College — this is still an option.  I think it fits all the criteria.  It is also very close to home.  I would have a stack, but I can limit how much I teach, I think, and thereby limit the stack. I think I will complete an application for this in the next week or two.
  • apply for a totally different position — I have been looking online and I have seen a few options here, too.  The Ann Arbor Public Library is continually looking for part-time help.  I would be connecting with the community and I wouldn’t have to bring stuff home with me.  The downside is that it is not tapping into my skill set directly, but it might be ok to ease back in to all that.
  • airport job — I have not examined this at all, but after I fly all these kids home and back over the holidays this may look a little more appealing!
  • freelance stuff — this is still an option, too.  In this academic environment, I am sure that I could tutor or edit.  If I could get a 1000 or so followers, I might be able to just blog — lol.

So, it is October 10.  I initially said that I would take a break at least until January.  That seems, in my mind, like a long time off.  But then I think, the last ten weeks have been so rich and full.  January 2 is only twelve weeks from now.  My granddaughter is due on January 10.  What’s my rush?

I haven’t heard an audible voice, but I am getting the message that I need to continue to be still.  I am getting the message that it is ok to take my own needs into consideration when examining my options.  I am starting to feel excited about the possibilities and getting back out there. I definitely needed this break; I am glad that I listened to the still, small voice that told me to take it.

Psalm 46:10

Cease striving and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in all the earth.

Walking

~ Kristin ~ Leave a comment

I love running.  I didn’t always.  It grows on you.

In my middle school and high school years the only thing I loved about running was when it was over.

But in college, when I was battling an eating disorder, I began to tap into the benefits of running — stress reduction, calorie burning, cardio-vascular health.   I found another benefit when I began to date my future husband.  We ran together.  On our after-school runs (we were both teachers), we would talk and laugh while letting go of the stress from the day, pounding out the miles.

Although I took a break from running while we were raising our children, I started up again when we moved to the seminary.  Again, I found it useful for exercise, stress-busting, and ultimately, bonding with my daughter and many students.  In fact, I was able to run two half-marathons and many 5k races before I had to sideline myself due to fatigue and pain.

Over the years I have connected with Scripture that uses running analogies, ‘they will run and not grow weary’ (Isaiah 40:31), ‘run that you may obtain the prize’ (I Cor. 9:24), ‘let us run with endurance the race marked out for us’ (Hebrews 12:1).  These were images I could relate to.  Running and not getting tired, running and winning a prize, running a race that had been chosen for me.

But to be honest, as you know I have to be, running was part of that soldier mentality that believed that I could do all things through me because of my strength. Yeah, that’s not really scripture.  I am aware.

Probably the knowledge that running would no longer be part of my daily routine was one of the first blows toward destroying that self-reliant attitude that could keep God on the sidelines.  That blow hit hard.  Running had become part of my identity.  I was the ‘teacher who ran’, the ‘mom who ran’, the girl whose heart rate and blood pressure were amazingly low, ‘because she ran’.

Transitioning to walking was a blow.  But ultimately it was the beginning of a slow-down that has changed my entire pace of life, of thinking, of being.

I used to rush to work, rush home, hurry to change so I could run, hurry home so I could make dinner, quickly wash the dishes, take a few minutes to straighten the house, make sure the kids had everything they needed, ‘sleep fast’, as my dad would say, and get up to do it all over again.  I was rushing so much that I didn’t really take time to feel, or process how anyone else was feeling.

I don’t rush very much any more.  I roll out of bed, stumble through my routine, work up to doing Pilates, saunter out for a walk, stop to talk to people in my path, write about my experiences, think, read, feel, rest, sleep. Rinse, repeat. Nothing happens very quickly, but plenty happens.

I have been thankful for this transition, while at the same time being a little sad about it. I mean, I was rocking the running routine.  Even if I was leaving the people that I care about in the dust.

At the moment, I’ve got nothing but time.  So, I am walking.  And this morning, in my Bible study, I was challenged by Paul, Silas, and Timothy to “walk in a manner worthy of God” I Thes. 2: 12. I was reminded that God Himself walked in the Garden of Eden, that Enoch walked with God, and Noah walked with God.  Maybe walking isn’t so bad.  I mean, I have noticed already, that I am not alone.

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children, and

walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us…

Ephesians 5:1-2

Mann tracht und Gott lacht.

~ Kristin ~ Leave a comment

I woke up exceptionally early this morning, and wasn’t ready to crawl out of bed right away, so I grabbed the book on my nightstand and began to read.  I typically read fiction, even though there is a stack of non-fiction waiting for me.  I prefer an escape into story to any type of reality, but especially to self-help books.  I really don’t want to read about how to manage my finances, what career is best for me in the second half of my life, or how to control my autoimmune disease. 

I want to get lost.  For a little while.  

So, this morning I grabbed Anna Quindlen’s Still Life with Bread Crumbs which I had started last night.  It’s the story of a once-famous photographer who has to re-locate in her 60s in order to gain control of her waning finances in the wake of divorce and decreased popularity.  She is struggling to re-enliven her career and find meaning for her life.  The scene I read this morning ended with her sharing with a new friend a statement that her father often said, “Mann tracht, und Gott lacht.”  Translation, man plans and God laughs.  

I laughed out loud.  God spoke to me through Anna Quindlen’s fiction.  You may think I have lost my mind by now.  And that may be true.  But, if I remember correctly, I finished yesterday’s post with the Scripture, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but the Lord’s purpose prevails.” I plan, God laughs.  I plan, God directs.  He wants me to get it through my thick skull. He is God and I am not. 

I had lunch with a new friend yesterday.  Among the many things we discussed, we touched on how to find purpose and meaning at this season of our lives — you know, middle age.  How should we use our time?  What should we commit to? 

Later, on a walk with my husband, it came up again.  When I say yes to something, I say no to something else.  If I say yes to a full-time teaching position, I say no to most everything else.  If I say yes to working days, I say no to lunch dates.  If I say yes to a PhD program, I say no to reading much fiction.  

I am figuring and planning; God is laughing.  He knows the plans he has for me. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me.  Plans for good and not for evil.  (Jeremiah 29:11) His laughter is the gentle laughter of a parent saying, “Calm down, little one, I’ve got it under control. I know what you need before you ask.” 

For now, I believe, He has called me to rest and be still.  He will reveal what is next when it is time for what is next. 

In the mean time, I will be reading fiction and being pleasantly surprised when He uses even that to remind me that He’s got me in the palm of His hand. 

Isaiah 46:4

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

A word about paychecks…

~ Kristin ~ 1 Comment

This post, written in 2014 and polished up in March 2019 is one of the most frequently viewed of all my blog posts — maybe because so many of us confuse our worth with what we earn. 

I have always loved to work. I love to be doing; we’ve established that. I like the feeling that I am meeting a need. I like the satisfaction of a job well-done. And let’s be honest — getting a paycheck is pretty great.

I’ve been paid to babysit, to drop a fry basket into a vat of boiling oil, to stuff envelopes, to mystery shop, to write devotions, to teach, to proctor tests, and even to walk door-to-door asking ‘how many people live in the house, what is their ethnicity and employment status’. I’ve been paid everything from fifty cents an hour to a respectable salary with benefits for me and my family.

It’s an exchange, isn’t it? The worker does a task; the employer pays a wage. That wage provides the means for the worker to buy food, housing, clothing, and other necessities. It provides a means for the worker to save for the future. It allows the worker to bless others.

But somehow a paycheck has come to mean something more. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain, I tie my wages to my worth. If I am earning, then I have value. The more I earn, the more value I have. I am worth something when I am working and making a wage.

Uh-oh. What happens when I resign my position and decide to be still for a period of several months?  If I’m not working, I won’t be getting paid. This could present a little problem in the inner workings of my psyche.

Over the years, my husband and I have been in every state of employment — we have both worked, only he has worked, only I have worked. For a few months, neither of us was employed full-time. We have made very little and we have made substantial salaries. But one thing remains, we have always had just about exactly what we needed at the moment. We have always had appropriate housing, vehicles that work, food for our family, clothing that looks respectable, the ability to give gifts to others, and the means to take modest vacations.

Just before our first daughter was born, I was teaching full-time in a residential facility for emotionally impaired children. My husband was finishing his hours of supervision to get his license in counseling. I was definitely the primary wage-earner, yet we agreed that I would resign my position one week before her due date so that I could be a stay-at-home mom. We made this decision even though he had not yet secured a full-time position and even though we didn’t have much in savings. It was a step of faith. I don’t remember our families saying much about it, but they must have thought we had lost our minds! On the day our daughter was born, my husband came to visit us in the hospital. He had about five dollars in his pocket, not much in the checking account, and no idea how he was going to get groceries before I got home. After he visited,  he stopped by the counseling office where he was doing his supervision, checked his mailbox, and found a check for over $500 in pay that had been delayed due to insurance! In 1992 that was plenty to get groceries, pay some bills, put some money in savings, and buy his new daughter a bow to wear home from the hospital. During the following months before he had a full-time position, we were blessed over and over by the generosity of others and God’s provision that often came just in time.

It grew our faith and reminded us that all things are provided through Him — even a paycheck.

Yes. That money that someone gives me in exchange for a task I complete is not really a measure of my worth; it is God’s way of providing for me. He has given me gifts and skills, he has plugged me into positions, and he has provided for my needs.

He has declared my worth.

Jesus told the disciples in Matthew 10: 29 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

Did you see that? I am of far more value than many sparrows.  I am worth more than my pay check. My value is found in Christ.

Yours, too.

And you can’t measure that with a paycheck.