Category: discipleship

Juxtaposition, re-visit

~ Kristin ~ 1 Comment

This post, written in October 2015, gets dusted off in October 2019 — I needed a reminder of my role.

The other day I was trying to explain the term ‘juxtaposition’ to a student. I think I said something like, “when we juxtapose two items, we set them side by side in an attempt to highlight their differences.”

I’m sitting here examining the glaring differences when I juxtapose my life with the life of Christ. It’s embarrassing, really. Especially when I consider myself to be not only a Christian, but a leader in the church. It’s humbling, and sobering, to think that others look to my husband and I as examples of what Christians should be.  In a perfect world, we would be mirrors that merely reflect the love and grace of God to all those around us. In reality, this mirror is warped, cracked, and positioned in such a way that the reflection is sometimes unrecognizable.

For example, yesterday, I pridefully posted on Facebook that I had used inappropriate language to deal with a medical insurance agent regarding some services for one of our children. “I showed her who was boss, yes I did.” As people liked that post throughout the day, I had a mixture of feelings — the satisfaction that others had experienced the same emotions that I had in similar experiences, the pride that I had written a post that others ‘liked’ (yes, I am that shallow), and, a hint of shame. “Really, Kristin, you are celebrating the fact that you resorted to low means to achieve your goal? Would you have had the same outcome if you had remained calm and gracious? Was it really necessary to get so charged up?”

Now, to be fair, the situation I was confronted with was a bit ridiculous.  A change in policy was, in my opinion, unjustified, irresponsible, and unnecessary.  However, did my response also need to be ridiculous?  And, after I had apologized to the innocent agent I was dealing with, did I really have to haughtily post my poor reflection of Christ for all the world to see?

Yeah, I’m often a poor reflection. Let’s juxtapose my behavior with an imagination of Christ’s reaction in a similar situation. He would be sitting in his office on the phone, calmly listening to the agent, asking questions, probably speaking directly into her life, picking up on nuances of her tone and reaching out to her need. He might ask who He could talk to about this recent policy change, but would He raise his voice? utter a vulgarity? or celebrate His breech of character on social media?

I doubt it.

When we juxtapose ourselves with perfection we find ourselves looking like a hot mess, because indeed we are hot messes. And that is why, my friends, God is the covenant keeper. (See my recent post “Didn’t He do it?”) We can’t keep the covenant. We can’t keep our commitment to be image bearers for Christ because we are a bunch of warped, cracked, misshapen mirrors. We reflect His image poorly. All the time. Even when we think we are getting it right.

And yet, every once in a while, He uses these imperfect mirrors, tips them at just such an angle so that others get a glimpse of His fabulousness.  And in those moments, we don’t haughtily post on Facebook, but we drop to our knees in humble gratitude for having a front row seat.  Because when we juxtapose ourselves with Christ, and take our eyes off of our own imperfection, we see what true perfection looks like. And we are amazed.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”

I Corinthians 13:12

Becoming Bi-lingual

~ Kristin ~ Leave a comment

I started re-reading the Gospel of John last Sunday.  I had read most of it last year with my small group in our home on Monday nights.  I have found, though, that each time I read a passage of Scripture, I see something new, something different.  One of my Bible teachers over the years made me memorize Hebrews 4:12, “The Word of God is living and active, sharper than any double edge sword.”  I believe it.  

So, I have been fumbling through John, again, with the disciples, shaking my head and thinking out loud, “what is he talking about!”  But today, the living and active word clarified itself for me.  In Chapter 8, Jesus is having a discussion with the Jews who believed in Him.  They are having trouble understanding Him. (I know, right!) He’s telling them they are slaves and that they need to be ‘set free’.  They don’t get it, they were never slaves!  Then he explains that they don’t understand because they have a different father — Satan, the father of lies.  (Oh, no he didn’t!) He says that Satan’s native language is lying!!  And remember, Jesus is full of grace and truth — his native language is the truth of God, full of grace! 

We don’t understand Jesus because we are learning His language. Because I was born in sin, my native language is sin. Since my baptism as an infant, I have been trying to acquire the language of Christ, sometimes more fervently than others, but let’s be honest, I really like to speak my native language the most. 

I saw this in my international students in St. Louis.  They had come to the United States to study in English to prepare for American universities.  We had a rule that while they were at school, they could speak ‘English only’.  However, it was very common to see Chinese students walking down the hall together, obviously speaking Mandarin.  It was more comfortable, more accessible, more familiar.  It felt like home. Speaking in English, for them, was often hard work.  It was foreign, new, and hard to understand.   I can’t count how many times I told students from China, Korea, or Vietnam, “the more you use it, the easier it will get.”

Sometimes I am such a slow learner, I amaze myself. 

I am just like my students.  I like to speak my native language.  It just rolls off the tongue.  Sure, a few people get hurt by the sharpness of my words, but man they feel good to say.  And, really, they aren’t lies.  I told you, I tell the truth…at least my version of the truth.  And, to be honest, reading the Bible is difficult.  I often don’t understand what Jesus is trying to say.  He speaks in parables and metaphors. I know, I know, I’m an English teacher, I should love that stuff.  But, I don’t get it all the time.  

“The more you use it, the easier it will get.” Sigh. 

Last Sunday I heard the challenge to spend more time in God’s truth, to become more familiar with his grace.  I am going to stick with it.  “The more I use it, the easier it will get.”  I really do want to be fluent in truth and grace.